If you're headed out to the bars this week/end to celebrate my birthday (as you should), read these tips first on the Best and Worst Bar Foods.

Worst Seafood Dish
Fish 'n' Chips
Don't be distracted by the cutesy name: fish 'n' chips are just deep-fried fish and French fries. If you're going to bother with seafood, choose peel-and-eat shrimp, which come with all the health-boosting omega-3s and -6s, and none of the artery-clogging deep-fried fats.

Worst Appetizer
Nachos with the works (cheese, beans, ground beef, salsa and sour cream)
These stats apply to just 9 fully loaded nacho chips. Chances are, though, that you aren't going to stop there. For a similar taste at only a fraction the caloric load, choose a simple cup of chili con carne. You'll pass on the carbo-loaded chips and fat-blasted cheese and dips, and you'll keep all the belly-filling, protein-packed meat.

Worst Fried Side
Jalapeno Poppers (4)
The peppers are rendered a helpless vessel for a glut of cream cheese and a deep-fried breadcrumb batter. Pop just 4 poppers and you've consumed your daily allowance of saturated fat and as many calories as you should eat during dinner. Calamari is really the only fried dish you'll find at a bar with any substance. yes, the calamari soak up their share of oil, but at least they bring otherwise-lean protein to your bar binge.

Worst Chicken Dish
Chicken Fingers (4) with ranch dressing
Neither of these is a model of sound nutrition, but nothing you eat at the bar really is. Buffalo wings have the advantage of escaping the breading that fingers invariably receive. which acts as an oil sponge in the deep fryer. But if you like to cool off your wings with blue cheese, the margin between these two chicken standbys narrows by 100 calories.